Dinner By Myself


It’s easier and harder to be
Alone
Sometimes
I watched the pasta puff up like
Noodle balloons and found that
Pleasant
I sat on my chair
With my legs tucked under me because
That’s really how it’s
Meant to go
I used some
Olive oil this time and it
Added more than I thought it would
I asked for music with
Harpsichord because that is my favorite
Instrument
It was so
Easy and quiet with only
Myself
As a guest
Even though the
Broccoli was cold I was
Content
I listened with both ears and
Thought about how
All stories are really
One hundred percent true
Some way or another
I thought about her birthday parties
And how nice her brother was
And how easy it was to feel
Happy there
I tried to think about
How to write a book and I had
One of those moments where
Everything I think feels like it belongs on
A page and I just
Don’t know how to connect them
So I wrote a poem instead because there’s no rules
There
So you don’t have to
Connect
Anything
I thought about how
Things feel ok when
You’re eating ravioli alone and
Listening to harpsichord and
Your hair is washed and your
Bathrobe fluffy
You already washed all the dishes
You finished a book this afternoon and you know
Where you’re going to college and that
You might even get a bird someday and
That in 72 hours you’ll be
Slow dancing in the prettiest dress
You ever saw
You might still be
Lonely sometimes but
Even though you don’t forget you start to become
At least a little
Ok with it
I get some
Bread out of the fridge and
Eat it plain because
It’s always tasted best like that
And I ask to hear
Asleep
Because it’s Charlie’s favorite song but
When I start to listen I decide not to
Think about Charlie
Just to think about
Myself
I don’t think about
What it means I just think about
How it’s meant to be played
When you’re driving away from saying goodbye to someone you love
Or when you’re laying on an unfamiliar carpet halfway across the world and everyone else is having a good time but you just feel like you miss familiarity
Or falling asleep beside your best friend
All these times would be
Appropriate but it’s also
Nice for
A dinner by yourself
A quarter into
Morrissey's
Rolling hills’ voice
Swaying like
Autumn leaves in the wind
The lights all
Dim because
My dad put them on a timer
And it’s somehow
Perfect
I sit perfectly still
Perfectly alone

9 comments :

  1. This is beautiful! I love the way you express your train of thought when you write, if that makes sense :) also, your blog is sooo aesthetically pleasing.

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    1. Aw thank you so much that made my day <3 I'm so glad you find it aesthetic ! Thank you thank you!

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  2. I don't read poetry much, in fact I wouldn't be able to comment if this is good poetry or not. But, I will say that I enjoyed feeling like I slipped into your day. You express things in such a way I almost could feel the steam rising from the pasta as it was cooking and how comfortable you were as you sat and snuggled up. It was a pleasure that you allowed us to peek into your alone time. Thanks!

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I'm so glad it connected with you. I am happy to provide you a little snapshot into my day anytime <3

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  3. I LOVED THIS. made me feel rlly rlly warm and cozy -- like this could have been something i went thru as well <3 thks for sharing this luv

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    1. thank you so much I'm so glad it filled you with warmth, I love to share that with you <3

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  4. Lonely alone eating dinner in by yourself but thinking of everyone but yourself is something I tend to do a lot. I always feel so connected to you when I read your poems because I feel like I'm there with you.

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