Pleasant Land // Psalm 16

dedicated to my trailhead family. I love you all. you grow flowers in my heart, and this poem will forever be written for you. <3


Crumpled leaves
People bind their books in gold thread
Or wrap them in grocery paper bag
Either way
Words on my cheeks
He writes them in day-old tears and copic marker
Refuge
I hear acoustic guitar somewhere behind the library’s cold walls, whispering Psalms, the distant sound of my tired, heavy feet crunching over that hot concrete months ago
Where were you in the crisis?
Clinging
I say
Clinging
Clinging to tree branches, poetry, song lyrics, flower petals, blue skies, bus stops, and most of all
To refuge
And now
I am in the blessing
For honey is on my tongue and I wake up with it dripped all over the screen of my phone
Ripe apples
Bright red
And heartbeats
I am in the blessing but I hear the shadows behind me, whispering
“Three leaved clovers mean nothing”
They grab at my heels
And bite my neck as I shake in bed
Quietly terrified
I say to them
Lips trembling
“I am in the blessing”
“This land is pleasant”
They hiss in reply
“Blessings are a lie and pleasantries a falsehood”
“All flowers die eventually”
I crouch on the dirt floor
Dead oak leaves scattered around me
And ask my Father
When the demons learned to imitate His voice
He replies
“they are the deceiver but I am the Truth”
He carries me
Bloody
Dried out
Torn
To a cool room made of stone
With stained glass windows letting in murmurs of gentle sunlight
He carries me there and places me on a bed of white
And helps my dead body learn
To rest
And grow lilies out of my ribcage
I’m so shaky
Though
In my prayers I scream frantic apologies for crumbling bone and unsteady fingers on piano keys
And a loss of trust that means a loss of hope
I’m terrified because somehow I’ve lost the puzzle pieces to the space under the couch and pictures don’t make sense anymore
Screaming screaming screaming
To blurry windows and cracked mirrors
Somewhere above my hurricane
The sky
Crackles
Blinding Light
He Says
BE STILL
And I am
I am
I Am
And I drown in tears and grace because
My poetry
Never ends
But neither does
His unfailing love



8 comments :

  1. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH DEAR LORD. I teared up several times, oh my goodness. <3

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

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    Replies
    1. awww Ellie <3 <3 your comments make me want to cry haha you're too sweet

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  2. Love this poem, very nicely crafted :)

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  3. I love the jagged cadence of this, Vivian. ^.^

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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  4. Wow, this is absolutely beautiful!

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