remember


dear little girl with shaky hands and lonely eyes and long tangled hair,


oh. my dear. when i see your hopeful heart and pure soul i get a feeling in my lungs that's so good and so bad all at once. so much melancholy tea and teardrops and forgotten smiles. i understand the places you've been, and i'm going the places you'll go. don't let them steal your smile, my love. when you get to cold concrete hallways you'll have to learn to face the ghosts inside you, clawing for your attention. you'll have to learn that you were never meant to face these things alone. call His name. He'll rescue you. when you're frozen underneath flannel bedsheets and the distribution of gravity must be off because you're being sucked down into some black hole in your mattress, repeat those words. again and again. repeat His name. the army of darkness, angry and fearful though they be, cannot break these words of truth. say it again, my love, again and again and again.

and i see your loneliness. i see it so clear, like days when you can look all the way to the islands, floating on a calm sea, from the front porch of your house. it took me a while but now i understand. it's ok, it's ok to be alone for the time. it's ok to talk to the grass and the birds and the characters you make up. it's ok to write stories of people and places you'd like to meet, experiences you'd like to have. it's ok to give your creations your flaws but not your situations. it's ok to dream sometimes. but don't let it tear you too far from the moment. from thankfulness and hopefulness. don't forget to write notes of thanksgiving on old envelopes and send them to the clouds. they'd like to hear. don't forget how close your true best friend is, how He's holding your hand and hugging you when you're sitting alone in a busy square, watching the people watch each other, and wondering where you got forgotten. the truth is my dear, you never were, He's telling you that. you don't need a flesh and blood hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on to know that you're loved, so loved. you're a princess, never forget it. and your best companions are the cross around your neck and the heart in your ribcage. don't forget these things.

one day, things will change, and that old blue picture frame you have on your dresser will get a new picture inside, for the first time since you received it, so many christmases ago. and for the first time, you won't feel a pang of longing and loneliness when you look at the old photo, when you take it out and put it in your bedside table drawer, where the rest of the past belongs, treasured but over. and there's a new pair of smiling faces inside.

and the truth is, there's a plan written for you, in some heavenly notebook, and your footsteps are carefully charted. now you sit in silence, and worry you're somehow, with your tiny fingers and tiny mind, messing something up. you're not. you can't. life is a gift. live it. please, don't let it become a burden.

remember how beautiful you are, how light you can be, you've been given the ability to be. remember to breath, my love, and remember the truth. i promise, it'll set you free.

19 comments :

  1. found your blog through your comment on Cally's giveaway post, haha, and followed immediately! this is so beautiful, i love the way you weave words. needed to read something like this today! looking forward to reading more of your writing. :)

    andsowewillbethehopeful.blogspot.com

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    1. Aw! Thank you-- wow I'm so honored! This comment made my day <3 <3 I'm so glad you enjoyed :)

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  2. Hey,
    that is such a good post!!!!!
    I've nominated you for the Cramm award! More details on my blog,
    x TG
    targetgirlonline.blogspot.co.nz

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    1. Aw thanks! Will go check it out now :)

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  3. Vivian, this is so sweet and vulnerable for you to write. I really can see your blog flourishing into something more personal.

    "It's ok to talk to the grass and the birds and the characters you make up." I do this a lot myself often times I'll catch myself mumbling to myself. I adore the feelingin thus post. Well done!

    And what wanted to give you a small and sweet thank you for sticking around my blog. I really appreciate it.

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    1. Feelings in this post* silly typos. I'm using my phone and it's kinda a hassle.

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    2. Aw Vanessa <3 <3 Your comments brighten my whole life you know that? Yes, I am trying to make my blog a little more real, as I'm so often a polished person, but I want to be genuine on here if I can, or at least I'm trying my best. I'm glad you enjoy it. And of course-- I'm proud to be a follower of your blog. You're one of the most friendly thoughtful bloggers I know, I aspire to be as kind and uplifting and encouraging as you <3 Thanks V

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    3. I can tell that is something that your transitioning into. I know sometimes it is hard to be more real because often times that is the unpolished stuff but you'll find the right balance! Thank you! You are just as kind my friend!

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  4. Oh this is beautiful wow 💜

    Hailey
    www.haileyhudson.wordpress.com

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  5. This is really nice! Sometimes it's okay to feel that way, to feel as if nothing makes sense at the moment. But as long as we have the courage and strength to get back up and work on ourselves, it'll be alright in the end! Sometimes we may need a little push and other times, it just comes from within.

    -Kathie K
    Half A World Away

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    1. Thank you Kathie! I agree. And it's so awesome that God can give us the strength we need, even if we don't feel like we have any left. Thank you for your wonderful comment <3

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  6. This is excellent!

    Kash
    kashjain.com

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  7. hellllloooo!!! (new face here hehe)

    this so gorgeous i absolutely LOVE the bit about the blue picture frame ?? it's amazing. you're amazing. thanks for sharing this gem with the blogger world xx

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    1. Aww hey welcome!! Wow thank you so much-- I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Just wow, I don't know how to respond to that compliment haha I'm smiling <3

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  8. **complete and utter heart break**
    gahhhhh, this is beautiful and I can't even form words to describe the amazing-ness I just saw! Keep writting girl!
    elissa / letters-to-jayna.blogspot.com
    p.s. I just found your blog and I'm in love!

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    1. Thank you!! Aw <3 It means so much

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