Blogmas Day 5: It Doesn't Snow Here


Where I live
By the coast, by the sea,
Where great waves brush the soft sand, thrumming, pulling, breathing, the Earth's heartbeat
It doesn't snow
The air is too warm, they say
The weeds of the chaparral croaking in thirst
The scream emanating from the dry brush
I scream with them
Silently,
There are no sound waves here
No atmosphere to carry my cry
From my house I can see both
The mountains, which stand, heralds, watchers, peering down at us below
There is white sugar on their peaks
I cannot reach it
Below I see the ocean
Forever trapped in its irregular rhythms
Beating the sand
Crumbling the land slowly
I cannot reach it
I look up at barren, white skies
The clouds are so bright I can only squint
And I raise my palms waiting
Watching
But nothing
It doesn't snow here
There are no temporary crystals nestled among my hair
I needn't wear boots because the ground is dry concrete and asphalt
And I watch as the sun pulls up the moon and stars cascade from the clear night
I cannot reach them either
And still
It doesn't snow here
I breath 
Or try at least
The air, it's stifling
Filled to choking with moisture and uncertainty
My lungs cry in protest
And I long for the chill,
My body aches for the feeling
Of cold, clarity down my back
Even if it would hurt in the moment, even if my dry skin would scream in protest and pain, even if the icicles would dig into my heart and the sensitive pads of my fingers
It would be better than this
This trap, this cage, this encompassing blanket of warm, suffocating, inconsistencies and paradoxes and loops
Because this in between is too confusing
I look to the water, to the peaks
And then where I stand
In the middle
Where am I?
It doesn't snow here
Amidst inconsistent capital letters and sad attempts at free-verse poetry that will somehow tell you
Tell me?
Just what's going on
Because it doesn't snow here and yet everything is white and bright and cold and glaring and my eyes they burn and I feel the clouds that should weigh nothing pressing aching pulling me dragging me down into more clouds and more mist and there's nowhere to go and I'm stuck somewhere between the mountains in the sea

And it doesn't snow here
But how I wish it would

xx

I am rooted but I flow. --VW

6 comments :

  1. Vivian! This is unbelievable! Seriously, this is amazingly amazing and amazing. There is so much intensity to this! I am so happy that you wrote this, I really am! It sounds like you live somewhere so pretty though!

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    1. Ah thanks V :) I'm glad you liked it so much- that comment just made me so happy. In truth I do haha-- I live in CA by the coast so I am very blessed to be able to see both the mountains and the ocean from my house. It's beautiful here.

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    2. You are so welcome my other V named blogger! (; West coast is the best coast! I go up to the Oregon coast a lot in summer and have always enjoyed it!

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    3. Yeah West Coast! Ah, Oregon is so beautiful. I love visiting, and I would even like to live there someday maybe. Lovely.

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  2. Replies
    1. AW OH MY GOSH THANK YOU I CAN'T EVEN ADEQUATELY RESPOND IT MEANS SO MUCH <3 <3

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